Cookie Monster: Cookies are an ALWAYS Food not Veggies!

cookie monster

I know I am a couple years late but this “Cookie Monster” fiasco has confounded me.  My first complaint with this situation is who forced Cookie Monster into giving up cookies? Cookie Monster lives in a great country and eating cookies, on a daily basis, is his inalienable right as an American citizen. If he wants to be on life support, then let him make his own decision.

I know I sound like Ron Swanson from “Parks and Recreation” right now, but I don’t think “Sesame Street” had a valid reason for making Cookie Monster into a health conscious hipster who only eats organic veggies from Wholefoods.I get that children are heavily impressionable by what they watch on TV but it is also up to the parent to raise their kids better. Stop blaming “Sesame Street” for making little Johnny 20 pounds heavier. Be a parent, turn off the TV and stop blaming Cookie Monster for butter ball Johnny.

Ever since 2006, Cookie Monster, whose real name is Sid, eschewed most cookies out of his dietary habits and has claimed veggies, fruits and maybe even granola into his eating habits.  Kids growing up in this era of “Sesame Street” will miss out on Cookie Monster’s greatest love. This nadir in the show’s history has stolen Cookie Monster’s identity.  And without his identity, what is he really to us? A furry, blue carpet with crazy eyes?

Nevertheless, it’s a shame that Cookie Monster cannot even shout,”Me want cookie! Me want cookie!” on a daily basis. It’s this pivotal catch phrase and his cookie binges that pushed him  into stardom. One can only deduce that  “Sesame Street” executives have his mom, sister and the rest of his  family in Guantanamo Bay. I bet Sid’s family is tortured with “TellyTubby” reruns or, worse, making them play “SlenderMan” in the dark 24/7.

Just the thought of Cookie Monster “Om nom nomming” veggies and fruits makes me sick to my stomach. Cookie Monster was designed by the greater powers of “Sesame Street” to eat cookies. Chiefly, shoving veggies into Cookie Monster’s mouth is the equivalent of shoving rocks and tree bark inside a human’s mouth. It’s just not logical.

If you want Cookie Monster to be a foodie hipster than name him Veggie Monster! Just the thought of Cookie Monster’s googly eyes making a beeline for a carrot leaves me nonplussed. Why  did Cookie Monster nix his Pro-Cookie Agenda? I have a litany of  questions, but not no answers.

I hope Cookie Monster stands up for his rights. If Cookie Monster can’t eat a cookie maybe he should nibble on Kermit the Frog. D.C restaurants do serve frogs legs.

Readers of Sherryn Daniel’s blog, please do not be offended. This is a parody piece after all.

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